I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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