i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
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