I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
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