I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
