it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Randomize
