The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
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You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
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Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
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