If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
