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• (949): View more from California

  After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(

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• (704): View more from North Carolina

  you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"

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• (519): View more from Ontario

  I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..

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• (365): View more from

  Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine

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  25 People Admit the Worst Things They’ve Done for Good Reasons

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• (936): View more from Texas

  Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance

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• (978): View more from Massachusetts

  You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  So?

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  This is why you shouldn't make decisions

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• (647): View more from Ontario

  Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics

  (416): View more from Toronto

  But that's half the fun of it

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• (916): View more from California

  I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.

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• (604): View more from British Columbia

  If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?

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  25 Things All Men Can Definitely Agree On

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• (970): View more from Colorado

  I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.

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• (323): View more from California

  You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five

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• (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.

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• (213): View more from California

  Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.

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• (601): View more from Mississippi

  On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.

  (601): View more from Mississippi

  That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.

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• (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes

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