i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
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And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
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I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly