Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night