One girl and one boy is just not enough.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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