ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
