she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
My pussy is not your playground.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
COCAINE IS GR8
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Randomize
