i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
