my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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