No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
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