Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
