she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
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Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
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We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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