I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize