So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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