When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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