Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Randomize
