Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
πππ what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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