thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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