he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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