Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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