We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
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