My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Randomize
