the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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