im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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