Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Randomize
