She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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