She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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