the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Randomize
