hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
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