shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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