wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
