Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
