Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Randomize
