Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Nicole vs. Life
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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