Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I am naked and annoyed.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Randomize
