hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
