my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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