I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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