the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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