Already got asked if we're dating
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize