Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
