I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
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