I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
