i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Quick, to the slutcave!
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
