Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
