our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
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