He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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