Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
This baby is an asshole
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
