In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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