I threw up into my coffee this morning.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
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He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
You need Xanax blowdarts
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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